Not All Who Wander Are Lost

"Let your light shine before others that they may 

see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven."

 Matthew 5:16

One of my dearest friends thus far in college (you can read his blog here) told me as I started this blog that it was amazing how firm I was in my faith and how well I was able to communicate its depth to people in just a few lines. His compliment really took me aback, because most of my life I have been very skeptical of people who were overly-anxious to share their faith. Even more so, I was extremely scared to share mine. I grew up a Christian and always knew I had a God and Savior, but I never felt like my story was "good enough" or awe-inspiring. In an essence, I lacked a confidence in my faith and probably that was from a lack of confidence in my relationship with my God. 

My first two years of high school were extremely difficult personally--I lost two family members within three months of each other, I was struggling to adjust academically to a college preparatory school, and simply put, I did not fit in (insert teen angst here haha), and it took me the next two years to get past all that. By freshman year of college I was definitely looking to establish a strong relationship with God. One of my favorite hymns "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" perfectly describes how I felt. The lines "prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love" were written for yours truly. I was definitely a wanderer, and in many ways still am. But by sophomore year I had my faith tested, and my heart began to sing the next few lines of that hymn "here’s my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above". A few idols I had on my heart and mind were taken from me, and I am so completely thankful that they were. Now I wonder why I ever devoted so much time to anything but developing my relationship with my Father. 

Sometimes I find myself embarrassed of that wasted time, but then remember that it was all a part of His plan. Had I not been out wandering in the pasture, He would have never had a chance to call  his girl back. Isn't that what we all are chasing--someone to call out our name and want us to come back to them? When God is calling you, that is a great day; in fact the best day, in my book. So in the past few months I have tried to be more expressive with my faith, and hopefully it has shown. I am constantly reminded of God's words to Moses in Exodus 4:11, "who gives speech to mortals? Who makes them mute or deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go, and I will be your mouth and teach you what you are to speak." That is so reassuring, and I know when I do not have the right words, He will. 

That title is a nod to J.R.R. Tolkein, and it is one of my favs :)