What I Am Scared Most Of

It is funny how a lot of little moments get strung along into a long line of hopefully, but not always so, good memories. It has been a little over a month since Christmas and it has surely been a whirlwind since then. I won't even try to chronicle all the little moments, but there certainly have been a lot of them lately. I have certainly felt my God orchestrating a lot of these little moments, as in, I am often almost moved to tears because I can see the face of God in what He is doing in my life. It is astonishing to me how much faith my Father has in me-- a girl who once (and sometimes still does) considered herself awkward and picked herself apart in the mirror. I only wish I could give back as much faith to Him, because he truly is the only object worthy of that kind of affection.



Sometimes I feel quite overwhelmed by the things He puts in my life because I simply do not know if I am capable of doing it. I'm scared I won't have the words, the strength, the confidence--whatever it may be. I'm most scared of the light God has put in me. I cannot describe it any other way, but I can trust in Him all day long, but I can't seem to put that same trust in myself. If I had to imagine, I think my Father would be disappointed in that reaction because I think we are living on this Earth as extensions of his love, grace, and mercy, and I really should be able to demonstrate those characteristics even to myself.

I can only trust that my God would not lead me anywhere He cannot carry me Himself and that what is for me He will not let pass me by. I hope today you feel that same confidence in God and we can work on feeling that confidence in ourselves together :)

Yours,
K

"I never lived till

 I lived in your light"

Proceed As The Way Opens

This morning I visited a new church here in College Town and was pleasantly bombarded with a made-for-me message. Today was Epiphany Sunday, honoring the visit of the three wise men to the baby Jesus. Not only is the word epiphany high up on my favorite words list, but I can also dig the idea of near aimlessly but in true faith following that which we cannot really manifest into words or even into concrete substance. But what I was really jumping out of my pew about was the phrase, "Proceed as the way opens", that our preacher attributed to the Quakers. I think that is absolute brilliance. How smart would I be to entrust my life and all its little things to its Creator? In fact, since it is not my own--and never has been--who am I to be taking it over, anyway? And if He already has everything I need ("All the Lord has is mine" of John 16:15) what would I be giving up by leaving Him? I think that is some pretty smart thinking to be doing, and I'm glad I remembered to do it today. Think what you can commit and turn over to God today; I'm willing to risk everything--even my life--to bet He would be happy to take it off your hands.

Yours,
K

If you feel like indulging in my music tastes tonight I give you the the Avett Brothers.

Auld Lang Syne

"We'll take a cup of kindness yet for auld lang syne"

I don't really believe in resolutions anymore because I believe we are constantly changing. Our hearts should-- key word being should--always be open to the new paths and directions that our lives lead them towards. Instead I wanted to put in words what I'd like to accomplish, remember, and advocate for in the year 2013. This is the year that I turn 21, that one of my best friends graduates from college, that I will move out of Greek Village, that I start my senior year of undergraduate...and much more that I can not anticipate and do not want to. 

1. Find a job(s) for the summer that is away from home.

2. Dip your toes in the ocean water. 

3. Start believing that everything truly works out...hasn't it up until now?

4. Run a sub 30 5K. More than once.

5. Read to a child. 

6. Remember what it was like to having an actual savings account. Lolz. But really. 

7. Study and take the GRE. Woohoo!

8. Conquer the fear of heights. Confront it at least once this year.

9. Learn to REST this restless heart in God. Daily struggle, but would love to work on it more this year.

10. Live in such way so that if anyone were to speak ill of you nobody would believe it. 

11. Fib less often.

12. Find my favorite alcoholic beverage.

13. WRITE MORE OFTEN :)

14. Keep up the concert list.

15. Expand my vocabulary. 

16. Go on a spur of the moment trip.

17.  Cook an entirely made-from-scratch meal. 

18. Volunteer more.

19. Karaoke. Is this mike on?

20. Keep the present a present. You're truly blessed just to have it. 

For good measure, 

21."Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:31-32

"For what it's worth: it's never too late, or in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again." -Mr. F. Scott Fitzgerald 

Happy first of the year, 

K