You're My Sweetheart

Hope everyone had a most fabulous Valentine's Day! I must admit I had a great one--dressing up for a fancy dinner out with friends followed by a couch-viewing of "Crazy, Stupid Love". And I truly believe this was the first Valentine's that I was not painfully aware of the fact that I am single. I thoroughly enjoyed the night, and honestly wanted for nothing more. I think I'm beginning to see how single-hood has its place and purpose in my life. God and I sure are spending more quality time together; and while it could always be more, I am noticing it becoming more authentic now in my life. I'm beginning to find myself in the midst of a more robust, but fulfilling schedule for life, and I love it! The only thing I could say I truly yearn for is more adventures (not all who wander are lost, right??). But not so much for a "better half", or even another half at all. It is still a day-to-day struggle, but I think I have made a lot of progress!

Have a great weekend, loves. Oh P.S., been reading some pretty killer novels lately. Would love to pass on some recommendations if you're in the mood!

“There is much more strength in a man who reveals himself only when it is necessary. I have suffered from being alone, but because I have been able to keep my secret I have overcome the suffering of loneliness … And, today, there is no greater joy than to live alone and unknown. My deepest joy is to write. To accept the world and to accept pleasure—but only when I am stripped bare of everything. I should not be worthy to love the bare and empty beaches if I could not remain naked in the presence of myself. For the first time I can understand the meaning of the word happiness without any ambiguity. It is a little different from what men normally mean when they say: ‘I am happy.’ A certain persistence in despair finally gives birth to joy … And if I now feel that I have come to a turning point in my life, this not because of what I have won but because of what I have lost. Within me, I feel a deep and intense strength that will enable me to live as I intend. If, today, I feel so distant from everything, it is because I have strength only to love and to admire. Life with its face of tears and sun, life in the salt sea and on warm stones, life as I love and understand it—as I caress it I feel my love and despair gathering strength within me. Today is not like a resting place between ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ It is both ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ ‘No,’ and rebellion against everything which is not tears and sunlight. ‘Yes’ to my life, whose future promise I now feel within myself for the first time.” Albert Camus, Notebooks

Where The Light Enters

"The wound is the place where

The Light enters you."

-Rumi

Tonight I find my soul overwhelmed by the loveliness of the grace of my God. He is sufficient to save my soul; to enrapture it in true love; to collect every piece of me and put it back together; to break me and mold me back into the woman He has marveled me to be. I am excited to see the way God works in my life over the rest of this semester. I say this because today I heard a sermon on Ecclesiastes 4:6, "Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil.." and it really clicked today that to have one hand open to God means exactly what it says. If I would stop clenching and holding on so tightly to that which is not meant for me and instead leave one hand open to hold God's hand (like that of a child of God) and to receive that which he has meant and reserved for just me, I would be so much better for it. 

I have a few prayer requests on my heart, and I think there is no better method to let the angel armies work on them than to commit them to writing. Tonight I pray for a heart so full of peace that it leaves room only for God and his will to be done. I pray for my friends as they explore what it means to be young adults and soon what it means to venture out into His world to commit His will to His people. I pray for the adventures of this summer! I am truly looking forward to them. I pray for my sorority that it will continue to flourish as it has and that I will be renewed in the sense of loyalty that it inspires. I pray for my University because it truly has believed in me when I have not believed in myself. I pray for my dear family. It has been far too long since I have been home (I'm being dramatic, but I'm homesick for them all the time!) and I know they are all super busy. I pray that they see the good of their works and that they are honored in God's glory. I pray for India, the place has my heartstrings. I pray for you if you're reading this because that makes me super happy! I pray for our world and our leadership that we will find God's light in everything broken and we will let Him heal us. 

Have a great week and may your hearts be open to the light.

K

What I Am Scared Most Of

It is funny how a lot of little moments get strung along into a long line of hopefully, but not always so, good memories. It has been a little over a month since Christmas and it has surely been a whirlwind since then. I won't even try to chronicle all the little moments, but there certainly have been a lot of them lately. I have certainly felt my God orchestrating a lot of these little moments, as in, I am often almost moved to tears because I can see the face of God in what He is doing in my life. It is astonishing to me how much faith my Father has in me-- a girl who once (and sometimes still does) considered herself awkward and picked herself apart in the mirror. I only wish I could give back as much faith to Him, because he truly is the only object worthy of that kind of affection.



Sometimes I feel quite overwhelmed by the things He puts in my life because I simply do not know if I am capable of doing it. I'm scared I won't have the words, the strength, the confidence--whatever it may be. I'm most scared of the light God has put in me. I cannot describe it any other way, but I can trust in Him all day long, but I can't seem to put that same trust in myself. If I had to imagine, I think my Father would be disappointed in that reaction because I think we are living on this Earth as extensions of his love, grace, and mercy, and I really should be able to demonstrate those characteristics even to myself.

I can only trust that my God would not lead me anywhere He cannot carry me Himself and that what is for me He will not let pass me by. I hope today you feel that same confidence in God and we can work on feeling that confidence in ourselves together :)

Yours,
K

"I never lived till

 I lived in your light"

Proceed As The Way Opens

This morning I visited a new church here in College Town and was pleasantly bombarded with a made-for-me message. Today was Epiphany Sunday, honoring the visit of the three wise men to the baby Jesus. Not only is the word epiphany high up on my favorite words list, but I can also dig the idea of near aimlessly but in true faith following that which we cannot really manifest into words or even into concrete substance. But what I was really jumping out of my pew about was the phrase, "Proceed as the way opens", that our preacher attributed to the Quakers. I think that is absolute brilliance. How smart would I be to entrust my life and all its little things to its Creator? In fact, since it is not my own--and never has been--who am I to be taking it over, anyway? And if He already has everything I need ("All the Lord has is mine" of John 16:15) what would I be giving up by leaving Him? I think that is some pretty smart thinking to be doing, and I'm glad I remembered to do it today. Think what you can commit and turn over to God today; I'm willing to risk everything--even my life--to bet He would be happy to take it off your hands.

Yours,
K

If you feel like indulging in my music tastes tonight I give you the the Avett Brothers.

Auld Lang Syne

"We'll take a cup of kindness yet for auld lang syne"

I don't really believe in resolutions anymore because I believe we are constantly changing. Our hearts should-- key word being should--always be open to the new paths and directions that our lives lead them towards. Instead I wanted to put in words what I'd like to accomplish, remember, and advocate for in the year 2013. This is the year that I turn 21, that one of my best friends graduates from college, that I will move out of Greek Village, that I start my senior year of undergraduate...and much more that I can not anticipate and do not want to. 

1. Find a job(s) for the summer that is away from home.

2. Dip your toes in the ocean water. 

3. Start believing that everything truly works out...hasn't it up until now?

4. Run a sub 30 5K. More than once.

5. Read to a child. 

6. Remember what it was like to having an actual savings account. Lolz. But really. 

7. Study and take the GRE. Woohoo!

8. Conquer the fear of heights. Confront it at least once this year.

9. Learn to REST this restless heart in God. Daily struggle, but would love to work on it more this year.

10. Live in such way so that if anyone were to speak ill of you nobody would believe it. 

11. Fib less often.

12. Find my favorite alcoholic beverage.

13. WRITE MORE OFTEN :)

14. Keep up the concert list.

15. Expand my vocabulary. 

16. Go on a spur of the moment trip.

17.  Cook an entirely made-from-scratch meal. 

18. Volunteer more.

19. Karaoke. Is this mike on?

20. Keep the present a present. You're truly blessed just to have it. 

For good measure, 

21."Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:31-32

"For what it's worth: it's never too late, or in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again." -Mr. F. Scott Fitzgerald 

Happy first of the year, 

K

Clarity

"And I will wait to find if this will last forever... because it can't, it just can't, it's not supposed to"

John Mayer, "Clarity"

"But I know the heart of life is good" resounds in the background of my kitchen as I blog this one. Except this time it is not coming from my trusty Spotify but rather from the distinct reverberations of a vinyl. And I'm loving it. So big shout out to a dear friend for making a little girl's dream come true;  it is nice to have something to hold on to. And appropriately I dub this post, "Clarity" as a tribute to the genius behind the first two records to my name--next few I'm feeling should be a little Bob Seger, Beatles, and the Fray??

I'm back from a wonderful and relaxing hiatus at the beach with the three favorites, my sweet little family. I kept exclaiming to my father's rolled eyes that this was our best vacation yet, and I have to admit I was not lying. I think the best moment of the whole trip occurred on a quick trip to pick up Papa John's (I know I'm a cheap date). Mama and I trekked out in the cold alone for little lady time disguised as our venture out to fetch the pizzas. While on the ride, I pulled out the dramatics (per the usual) and was met with the best advice I have heard in a long time. And I'm going to try to really take it to heart, because I firmly believe it was a wake-up call from God himself, but spoken--again per the usual :)--through my angel of a mother. She reminded me I had to stop waiting and live in the present. All the little ideas and plans we have for ourselves, not only could they never amount to the glory of God's ETERNAL plans for us, but also they would probably (most definitely) not pan out exactly how we picture them to be. Because that truly is the beauty in our Earthly time--it is both unpredictable and finite. We must make of it what we can with the promise of our loving Father's house as the final destination. I think that is something to smile about. Truly I do. Whatever is plaguing our minds and enrapturing our hearts today is only of this temporary life. If it can and needs to be changed, let's do what we can. But what we cannot change, let us not worry our time away on. I hope 2013 is the year I put this advice to practice, Momma, I really do!

As a last nod of the year I wanted to leave you with two articles. One addresses the glorification of busy and why that glorification is unduly awarded. The other addresses a young lady's viewpoint on a topic I touched on tonight--waiting. I think both are absolutely great, and rather than paraphrase I will just send you to the source!

"Don't Tell Me You're Busy": http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2003/10/23/dont-tell-me-youre-busy/

And 

"I Don't Wait Anymore"...please stick it out to the end, I promise it is not a pro-pre-marital sex rant!: http://gracefortheroad.com/2012/02/03/idontwait/

Happy New Year lovers, 

K

 

And So This is Christmas

"Those Christmas lights light up the street
Down where the sea and city meet
May all your troubles soon be gone
Oh, Christmas lights, keep shinin' on
Those Christmas lights light up the street
Maybe they'll bring her back to me
And then all my troubles will be gone
Oh, Christmas lights, keep shinin' on
Oh, Christmas lights, light up the street
Light up the fireworks in me
May all your troubles soon be gone
Those Christmas lights keep shinin' on"

Coldplay's "Christmas Lights"

"The angel answered, the Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God." Luke 1:35
Hope the days leading up to the birth of our Savior remind you what is most important in life!
-K